Yorozuya Side-Love Comedy: Futari no Sadists
by ahsoei
Summary: Kagura felt depressed for being the only single in Yorozuya. Will she able to find a partner like her two comrades? OkiKagu with slight GinTsu.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi again, y'all! Here's my second instalment of 'Yorozuya Side Love-Comedy'! This time, it's featuring OkiKagu. Please read and review! Btw, this one will take more than one chapter unlike the previous one. Enjoy!**

Kagura has been feeling uneasy lately. Ever since Shimura Shinpachi officially dating Kirara, the only girl in Yorozuya has always seen fluffy atmosphere

around her surrogate father and brother. From time to time Kagura would have seen Sakata Gintoki flirting with Tsukuyo, much to older woman's bashful

response, Kagura can tell that deep down, Tsukuyo also enjoys her boyfriend's/soon-to-be husband antics. Although the yato girl has gotten used with

Tsukuyo around lately, for some reason Kagura still could not stand when she caught the two of them being slightly lovey-dovey in front of her.

Kagura also noticed that Shinpachi has been in good mood lately, not to mention that the straight-man tends to ask for day-offs more often, which Kagura

assumed that Shinpachi has been going on dates with the bespectacled girl. Although the yato girl is happy that everyone is getting along with each other,

she could not tell about her uneasiness in her heart.

X

It was just another peaceful day in Yorozuya. Kagura was woken up by Shinpachi in the morning as usual. When she got out from her room/closet, she

greeted her surrogate father and brother in her usual slovenly manner. Not much to Kagura's surprise, her greeting was replied back by Tsukuyo who was

paying another visit to check on her boyfriend/soon-to-be husband and help out around in the morning. That day, Yorozuya received another simple request

from Yoshiwara, much to Tsukuyo's complain about her being able to do it herself, which was ignored by Gintoki. Shinpachi and Kagura rarely joined in if the

job involves Yoshiwara, since the two youngsters tried to be considerate to give Gintoki and Tsukuyo more private time and more over, Gintoki does not really

like the idea of always bringing kids like Shinpachi and Kagura to adult-themed place like Yoshiwara. Besides, Shinpachi got another date with Kirara so the

glasses boy had requested a day-off in advance. Kagura was left behind all alone to watch the house with Sadaharu, as the men went out to conduct their

'business'.

X

Kagura, at the moment felt rather irritated. As she sat alone on the couch in Yorozuya's living room with her giant pet sleeping at the corner, her mind

wandering about Yorozuya's current status while she chewing her usual sour snack. As she chewed and swallowed her sukonbu, she finally realised that out of

Yorozuya, she was the only one who remained single. She could understand about her 'father' and Tsukuyo, but what irritated her most was the fact that

Shinpachi, who she considered as 'plain' character without any special traits whatsoever compared to her, managed to beat her first in finding love.

"_Gin-chan got Tsukki… Well, I always thought they were made for each other, yes…_" thought Kagura deeply.

"_That four-eyes has also gotten himself a girlfriend… But…_" paused Kagura in her mind.

"_What is this feeling of defeat?_"

The yato girl stopped eating her snack as she lowered her stares, continuing her thoughts.

"_I'm a heroine in this fanfic… Rather, I'm the heroine even in the original series, yes? So why…_" thought Kagura until she screamed into the living room,

waking her sleeping giant pet as result.

"WHY AM I STILL SINGLE, YES!?" said Kagura screaming as she stood up from her couch.

"_That plain four-eyes beat me first, yes! Why!? He's just a pair of glasses without special traits whatsoever! I get that Gin-chan is the main hero but Shinpachi _

_is just… Dammit!_" cursed Kagura in her mind as she dropped on her fours to the ground.

"_Damn that author. Why did he do this to me, yes!?_" thought Kagura still cursing her fate.

"_Why can't I find any decent guy around? What's so bad about me, yes? I'm already 15 for crying out loud!_" thought Kagura in agony.

"_My body might be not as great as Tsukki, but they have developed a lot compared with before, yes?!_" thought Kagura looking down at her breast while

groping it, trying to make them look bigger.

"_No… There's still hope. I need to do something about this before my position is replaced by that four-eyes. There must be one or two nice guys to be asked _

_out, yes!_" thought Kagura trying to be positive as she got on her feet again.

While Kagura was preparing herself to go outside she tried to plan something to do once she was outside.

"Let's see… A guy I'd like to ask out…" murmured Kagura as she reached out her parasol until a picture of sandy-haired man appeared in her mind.

Her movement froze up when she grabbed her umbrella as she recognised the man inside her head. At this thought, her face suddenly warmed up.

"Nah, no way in hell. What was I thinking, yes?", said Kagura shrugging the thought as she proceed towards the door.

"Let's go, Sadaharu!"

The dog barked following Kagura behind as the girl step out from the office.

X

Meanwhile at Shinsengumi Headquarters, a certain sandy-haired man was sleeping soundly with his trademark eye-mask on. The rest of the men who were

busy either working or training only stared at the man who was sleeping during work-hours. Yamazaki Sagaru who was around only looked at him with worry,

thinking that it would be a matter of seconds until a yelling voice came out from the demonic vice-commander. And just right on the mark, a stomping sound

was heard as the members saw a dark-green haired man with a smoke on his lips yelling while approaching the sleeping man.

"Oi, Sougo! If you have time to laze around go do some patrols or something! And how many times does this make now that I caught you slacking off, huh!?

This time I'll definitely make you to commit seppuku!" yelled Hijikata Toushirou raising his fist.

But right before Hijikata's hand could reach the sandy-haired man on the floor, Okita Sougo quickly unsheathed his katana and performed a quick slash

towards Hijikata who managed to barely evade it, resulting the cigarette in his mouth got cut clean in half.

"Huh? Oh, it's just you, Hijikata-san…", said Sougo removing his eye-mask.

"Sougo, you bastard…", growled Hijikata.

"Sorry, Hijikata-san. I was dreaming having a heated battle with some joui terrorists, it seems like my body thought that you were an approaching enemy, so

I ended up attacking you out of reflex…", said Sougo trying to make up some excuses.

"Dreaming my ass! I bet it was on purpose!" yelled Hijikata furiously, the other men quickly restraining the vice-commander from going berserk.

The first division captain decided dismissed himself before he get caught up in a real mess, he ran past his chief-commander after saying a quick greeting,

and quickly got out from the HQ with patrolling as an excuse. Kondou Isao walking towards Hijikata who was still trying to calm himself.

"Hahaha, full of energy as usual, eh?" said Kondou laughing at the charade.

"Please, Kondou-san… You need to stop spoiling him!" replied Hijikata after catching his breath.

"Now, now, Toushi… At least he doesn't complain anymore when he was sent out for patrols, right? He used to complain to every job you gave him", replied

Kondou.

"Hmph, he's probably just want to switch places to sleep, or maybe just want to making fun of that China girl again…" replied Hijikata lighting up a new

cigarette.

"That China girl, huh…. Say, Toushi… Do you think that our boy has a crush on that girl?" asked Kondou wondering.

"Uh, with all due respect, Kondou-san… Maybe you mean YOUR kid, not ours. And no, no, no, Sougo that China girl hooking up means the end of mankind",

denied Hijikata as he blew out a smoke.

X

After walking away from Shinsengumi HQ, Sougo let out a small sigh as he kept walking.

"_That damn Hijikata… Just a few more inches I could have had my promotion…_" thought Sougo about his recent attempt to kill his superior.

"_Well, I guess it's not his day yet… By the way…_" thought Sougo again as he stared at his watch.

"_She should be around that place by now…_" thought Sougo as he started walking again.

After walking for few moments, he reached the park where he regularly visits. He scanned the area a bit until his eyes caught a girl with red hair sitting on a

bench he used to nap on. The girl was wearing her usual cheong-sam with parasol sheltering her body from the sun, she was accompanied by a giant white

dog who was playing around with some terrified kids.

"_Figures, I guess I will blow some steam on her a bit_", thought Sougo as he crept up a smirk.

He took a step and he walked until the red-haired girl noticed someone was approaching her. When Sougo's eyes met with the girl's, he said the usual thing

when they met.

"China"

**Ok, so that's all for now. I still need to decide an event so it might take a while until next chapter. I hope you guys like it!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi, again my beloved readers! I'm so sorry for the late update and thank you for the likes! Here's chapter 2! And there might be some shameless references in this and future chapters (you have been warned). Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Gintama belongs to Sorachi Hideaki sensei. Not mine.**

Kagura was sitting on her usual park bench while watching Sadaharu playing with some kids. For past few hours, the yato girl had been trying to talk with some men who are around her age to go out, or at least just to spend time with her, but most of men she 'asked out' were either a gross lolicon, a cocky bastard, or men who immediately dumped her, fear for their wallet when they realised how much food she could fit in her stomach. Not to mention some of them are scared of her giant pet dog. As Kagura peaked over her parasol to look at the sun, she let out a sigh, contemplating her failures of finding a 'boyfriend'.

"_Tch, no decent man around…_" thought Kagura while keep looking at Sadaharu who was running around chasing off random kids.

"_No, it's too soon to give up! It's still the first day, yes!_" thought Kagura trying to hope as she clenched her fist.

Her thoughts were interrupted as she sensed a familiar presence approaching her, then she turned her head at the presence who called her as soon as their eyes met.

"China"

X

Recognising the figure of the man who approached her, Kagura let out a scoff as she turned her gaze back at her pet dog.

"What, it's just you, yes", said Kagura with disappointed tone.

Sougo's eyes twitched a bit at Kagura's respond, feeling as if he was being looked down upon, which is the thing for a sadist like him does not like to be treated.

"Well, sorry for not being someone else… What're you doing here, anyway? Are you waiting for someone?" asked Sougo with slightly irritated tone.

"None of your business", was all Kagura said in response.

Sighing at Kagura's reply, the sandy haired man caught a sight of a giant dog that was chasing kids around.

"Say, China… Can you at least do something about your monster, there? I can arrest you for disturbing public safety", said Sougo indifferently.

"Hei, don't call Sadaharu a monster, yes! He's my adorable dog!" replied Kagura protesting, glaring at the man beside her.

"Well, I've never seen an adorable dog that can swallow a kid a whole like that, do something about him or I'll arrest you for causing disorder", replied Sougo glaring back at Kagura.

Kagura reluctantly calling back her giant dog, as Sadaharu ran back to his master's side, the kids quickly ran away from the park. After Kagura patting her dog, she shot another glance at the police officer.

"Well, that's quite new from a sadist like you, yes. Usually you would've just enjoyed other people's suffering, yes", said Kagura.

"I'm still a police officer, you know. And besides, I'm already bored with those kids' reactions. I'd prefer something new", replied Sougo shrugging.

"Although…"

At the word spoken by the male sadist, Kagura turned her head a bit more towards Sougo, slightly curious of the next words the man are going to say.

"There's this certain girl who never bore me", said Sougo smirking at the yato girl.

Kagura suddenly felt irritated after hearing those words, but she tried to remain calm.

"Heeh… Then why don't you tell me more about her, yes?" asked Kagura putting a smug face as a front.

After a moment of silence, Sougo thought of an idea as his smirked again.

"None of your business and let's put the topic for another time, China. How's danna and megane?" asked Sougo.

Kagura flinched at Sougo's question.

"Well… They're fine, yes", replied Kagura as she was reminded again of her jealousy towards her two comrades.

"Hoo… I see. Glad to hear they're having good time with their girlfriends now…" replied Sougo with teasing tone.

"Wha- how did you know they are on a date?" asked Kagura with her eyes widened.

"_Gotcha_"

"Nope, I don't know. You just confirmed it", said Sougo smiling.

"Kuh…!" said Kagura irritated even more.

"Man, it always easy to pull something from you", said Sougo in mocking tone.

"What are you even doing here anyway, yes? Don't you have to… you know, robbing taxes around?" asked Kagura in annoying tone.

"How rude, China…. I'm just doing my usual patrol around the town. And don't you have any… you know, odd jobs around?" asked Sougo back with the same annoying tone.

"Idioot… I thought you knew that both Gin-chan and Shinpachi are on a date, so there's no job for today, yes?"

Sougo's eyes twitching again at Kagura's remarks as he felt stupid for making such a blunder in his argument at the same time. In his mind, he blamed the amount of time he had spent with the yato girl in front of her, concluding that her stupidity has started to rub on him.

"You know I can arrest you for insulting a police officer, China. Oh and speaking of them dating…." Said Sougo as he reminded of his idea.

"Aren't you the only one of the three who is still single?" asked Sougo delivering the 'final blow'.

_Still single…_

_Still single…_

_Single…_

_Single…_.

Kagura could not deny that Sougo's words had pierced through her being like a javelin, but she told herself to stay strong and not getting caught by his pace.

"So what? Aren't you also single, yes?" asked Kagura back after regaining her composure.

"I am, but I can easily got a girl or two without even trying. Unlike a china beast like you", replied Sougo in his defence.

"Hmph, I won't call that a girlfriend if I were you, sadist. You just making them become your bitches, that's all", replied Kagura scoffing.

"Well, at least I can still got a girl for myself to go out with. What about you? I bet nobody besides danna could fill your bottomless pit you call stomach even for a minute", replied Sougo shrugging.

"Well, the men's only job is to feed us women until we're satisfied, yes!" said Kagura puffing her chest.

"Apologise to every man on the planet, China. You can start from me", replied Sougo deadpanned.

"Make me!" said Kagura pointing her parasol towards Sougo.

"With pleasure", replied Sougo unsheathing his sword.

X

Gintoki and Tsukuyo were walking together across the Kabuki district, having finished the job that was easier than expected.

"That's why I told ya that I can do it by myself…" said Tsukuyo blew out a smoke from her kiseru.

"Come on, Tsukki… Two hands still better than one, right?" replied Gintoki in slightly whiny tone.

"Whatever", replied Tsukuyo shrugging her boyfriend.

They kept chatting until they walked in front of a park and noticed the ruckus that was taking place in a distance. As they took a better look at the commotion, they saw two figures trying to hit each other as both of them were swinging and thrusting their respective weapons, punching, dodging, engaging each other as they also ended up destroying trees and grounds around them. A giant white dog was also sighted not far from the fight, the dog was simply sitting wagging its tail as if the dog was enjoying the show before it. One fighter is a blue-eyed girl in red cheong-sam with a vermillion red hair styled in two buns holding a parasol and the other is a sandy haired man with reddish-brown eyes, clad in black outfit carrying a katana. Recognising the two fighters, Gintoki face-palmed as Tsukuyo sighed while shaking her head.

"Those two were at it again… Good grief…" said Gintoki still face-palming.

"Should we stop them?" asked Tsukuyo looking at the fight.

"I guess so….", said Gintoki as he took a step.

"Wait"

Tsukuyo a bit confused when the silver haired man suddenly stopped on his tracks, seeing at Gintoki's eyes were looking at, the blonde woman noticed the thing that stopped the man.

X

The two youngsters were smiling, whether the fighters aware of it or not, the two spectators also noticed that their movement were not as aggressive as the previous fights they saw before, they still ended up destroying public property, but the destruction is not as bad as usual, as if the two fighters were holding back, making someone to think that they actually were having fun. After processing the detail before them, both of the adult couple put on a small smile.

"Guess we can watch those two a lil' bit longer…" said Tsukuyo as her smile got a bit wider.

"Yeah", said Gintoki with a small scoff.

X

Sougo and Kagura kept fighting in 'not-so-dangerous' pace while they were still aiming to knock the day lights out of each other with numerous fists, kicks, slashes and bangs. The two ended up running around and devastating the entire park trying to land their attacks.

"What's up to you, sadist? Getting tired, yes? Your movement got slower, yes!" said Kagura taunting while she was still running and firing a few bullets from her parasol.

"What are you talking about, China? I'm slowing down because I'm generous enough to give you time to catch up with me…" replied Sougo nonchalantly while dodging Kagura's bullets with ease.

"I don't need your pity, dammit!" shouted Kagura agitated, then she pick up her speed more.

"Oh, what is this? Suddenly getting aggressive on me?" said Sougo teasing Kagura with a smirk on his face, the said girl only growled in irritation as she closed her distance.

When the fight just heated up even more, suddenly Sougo stopped on his tracks readying his sword. Kagura who did not see it coming barely managed to stop her running and put on a defensive stance as she saw the sword came towards her. As the sound of the clash was heard, both youngsters were pressing their weapons against each other, trying to be more dominant one. The man noticed the girl still tried to get a proper footing, as he quickly swiped Kagura's feet, making the yato girl fell to the ground. Seeing an opening when Kagura fell, Sougo quickly pointed his sword on Kagura's neck, but at the same time he could feel the tip of Kagura's parasol was pressing against his chest.

"Tch, another draw, huh? I'm so close on beating you…" said Sougo disappointed as his sword moved an inch closer towards his opponents throat.

"Not even close, you damn sadist. I'm the one who was about to blow you away", said Kagura tightening her grip on her parasol.

While the two still maintaining their 'Mexican stand-off' position, a voice interrupted.

"Alright, alright… that's all for today you brats", said a male's voice.

The two youngsters turned their heads towards the voice's source and their eyes recognised the silver-haired man who interrupted them with a blonde woman standing beside him.

"'Sup, danna and Tsukuyo-san", said Sougo greeting Gintoki and Tsukuyo as he retreated his sword from Kagura back to its sheath.

"Gin-chan, Tsukki!" said Kagura a bit surprised as she retreated her parasol as well and stood up.

"Yo", said Gintoki holding up his hand in greeting while Tsukuyo only smile towards the two with her hand held up as well.

"You guys were done with your date, already?" asked Kagura.

"Yep/it ain't a date", replied the two adults with different answers.

"Eh?" asked Gintoki, confused as he was the one who said 'yep'.

"What? It's a job from Yoshiwara, remember?" replied Tsukuyo nonchalantly.

"Eeh… You're being not cute now, Tsukki…" whined Gintoki.

"Like I care 'bout that", replied Tsukuyo blowing out a smoke.

"Never mind that, Gin-chan. You were watching, yes? It's my win, yes?" asked Kagura to her surrogate father.

"Well, I don't care about that actually. Come on, we're leaving before more of these guys show up", said Gintoki ignoring Kagura's question, hinting Sougo as 'the guy'.

"Wait a minute, danna. I need to arrest this China girl for destruction of public property", said Sougo halting them.

"What the- me!? You're also in this, yes!" shouted Kagura pointing at Sougo.

"I was trying to apprehend you in the first place, China… Now get over here", replied Sougo with deadpanned tone.

"Now, now, Sourachi-kun… You can play with Kagura again tomorrow, just let us off for now", said Gintoki persuading.

"Sougo desu. Then what do I suppose to say to higher-ups?", asked Sougo.

"Just say it was Zura. Bye, then…" said Gintoki as he turned his heels away.

"Wait a second, danna… I never said that this is for free, you know?" said Sougo halting Gintoki again.

"Fine…. What do you want?" replied Gintoki sighing.

"Lend me your girl for the rest of the day", replied Sougo.

The silver samurai turned his eyes towards the shinsengumi captain.

"You know she is mine, don't you, Souma-kun?" replied Gintoki pointing his thumb at Tsukuyo.

Tsukuyo's face showed a faint pink as she coughed a bit on Gintoki's misunderstanding. The sandy-haired man only blinked once at the older man's reply.

"Sougo desu. And no, no, no, danna…. I'm not talking about your girlfriend here. I'm talking about China girl over there", said Sougo pointing at Kagura.

"Huh? Me?" asked Kagura pointing at herself.

Sougo only nodded.

"Okita-kun, what are you trying to do to her?" asked Gintoki facing Sougo again.

Knowing that the man before him is getting a bit serious from the way he addressed his name, Okita Sougo held up his both hands in defence.

"Calm down, danna… It's nothing like whatever you're thinking", said Sougo.

"Then give me a reason to trust you, Souta-kun. My life could be on the line here if it comes to Kagura's well-being", said Gintoki crossing his arms.

"Sougo desu. If you claimed that I'm the one who won the fight earlier, I swear I won't do anything funny to her", said Sougo after a sigh.

"Wha- Gin-chan… Don't you dare…!" said Kagura protesting as she was shooting glares at Gintoki who went into thinking.

"Come on, you won't have to deal with us and I just want your China girl's company for today… Just by you witnessing that I won the fight earlier with China", said Sougo persuading once again.

"Fine, you win. Make sure you bring her home by dinner", said Gintoki ruffling his hair.

"Gin-chan!" shouted Kagura in shock.

"Oi, Gintoki…" said Tsukuyo follow suit, the woman just saw it not right for Gintoki giving up Kagura like that.

"But no funny business, you hear me? If I found that anything happens to her…" said Gintoki pointing at Sougo while shooting glares.

"Yeah, yeah, I know…. I promise", said Sougo raising both his hands, a smile shown on his face.

Before Kagura could have said another word to protest, suddenly Sougo's hand grabbed her collar and dragged her away from the vicinity with high speed.

"Alright then, we'll take our leave. Have a nice day, you two", said Sougo running away with Kagura in his grip.

"What- wait! I haven't…! GIN-CHAN YOU BASTARD!" screamed Kagura while trying futilely to break free from Sougo's grasp.

X

As Gintoki and Tsukuyo looked at the retreating Sougo and Kagura, the man turned around to see his girlfriend frowning at him.

"What? You know I don't like dealing with cops", said Gintoki indifferent.

"Ya just made me wonder again why did I choose to be with ya…" said Tsukuyo let out a smoke from her kiseru again.

"Don't worry about those two, Tsukki… Besides, you do realised something between them, right?" said Gintoki walking closer towards Tsukuyo.

"Whatever d'ya mean by somethin'?" asked Tsukuyo closing her eyes with one of them opened, showing that she intrigued little bit.

"Please… You know what I mean when we found them earlier. They're having fun with each other", said Gintoki smirking.

"Fine, then. But if somethin' really happened to Kagura…" said Tsukuyo inching closer towards Gintoki and she pointed her kunai towards his throat.

"You can consider us done, ya hear me?" asked Tsukuyo threatening.

"Oi, oi… what will happen to our promise to meet Kyouko again if we're breaking up?" asked Gintoki nonchalantly.

"If it comes to that, then I can just knock ya out after impregnatin' me and raise her by myself", said Tsukuyo smirking.

"Come on… You're kidding, right? Honey?" asked Gintoki sweat-dropped.

"Who knows? Have ya seen me going back on my word? Darling…" asked Tsukuyo with sly tone, then she pulled back her kunai and walk away.

"I'm goin' home, then. Make sure to take yer dog together when you're goin' home too", said Tsukuyo waving her hand without looking back.

"Eh, dog?" asked Gintoki then he noticed that Sadaharu was still sitting there, barfing at him.

Being left alone at the devastated park, Gintoki's face got pale when he thought about Sougo and Kagura. He got nervous until he did not realise that Sadaharu is biting his head.

"_Soujiro-kun… You better know what you're doing right now…_" thought Gintoki with worry as blood trickling down from his skull.


End file.
